It was time for the meeting. I knew I had to go, there was no choice, no possible chance of anything changing if I didn’t even turn up. I gathered my notebook, diary, pen, turned phone to silent, and dragged myself from my office and went down the stairs to the meeting room. The meeting hadn’t started yet, people stood hunched around tea and coffee cups, greetings were pushed out through forced set jaw smiles. This was a typical start to this particular meeting. It seemed we’d become so focussed on protecting professional corners that we’d virtually forgotten that the group were supposed to be to helping people move closer to the lives they wanted.

The project we were working on felt like a failure, nothing seemed to progress, the team argued passionately over trivial things, each meeting ended without consensus or action. We left each meeting with growing animosity, headaches and a strong reluctance to return. Even when we weren’t arguing, an aura of past conflict shrouded the group in negativity.

Around this time I was reading ‘Time to Think’ by Nancy Kline, and had also discovered an article about Positive and Productive Meetings a meeting structure developed by Helen Sanderson Associates, based on Nancy’s Kline’s work. I knew it would take some courage to introduce these principles to our meetings, but decided that without change our dwindling membership and complete lack of progress would soon see the entire project fold.

I wasn’t brave enough to introduce the entire process all at once so hoped that a small start could still make a difference. I had a quiet word with the meeting chair and project manager, and together we decided that we’d introduce opening and closing rounds also get the group to develop ground rules for our meetings.

“I want to try something different today,” I said at the beginning of the meeting.

I talked about how Nancy describes an accurate picture of reality as including both positives and negatives, and suggested that it might help our meetings if we could begin on a positive note. I lead the group in an opening round of one positive thing that has happened at work or at home since we last met. There were some raised eyebrows but none the less each person contributed something positive. By the end of the round, the mood in the room had lightened, there were natural smiles and relieved expressions. People had shared stories of their youngest sleeping right through the night for the first time, having rediscovered a favourite hand cream, booking an overseas trip, having learned something new about someone they supported. Where there had been differences, members of the group were suddenly drawn together by a shared sense of humanity and having so many things to celebrate.

The next step was to set some ground rules. There were discussions of being respectful, valuing everybody’s thoughts and ideas, ensuring only one person speaks at a time, to always have food during our breaks, and to agree at least one action at the end of each meeting.

We concluded with a closing round of one thing each person had appreciated about the meeting. People consistently said the meeting had flowed better, felt more positive and that they were looking forward to the next one. There were also comments about how nice it was to start on a positive note and to learn more about one another.

Although the group continue to work on very difficult issues, there is now a definite warmth within meetings, the group are more focussed, and I actually look forward to going. We don’t use all elements of Positive and Productive Meetings, but the group are now open to trying any new tool or approach in order to be more effective.